The Cost of Freedom
by bellaXmonster
Summary: Wracked with survivors guilt after the attack on Shinganshina in 845 Marie Laufey turns to the military in the hopes of becoming more than your everyday coward. Armed with only her looks she struggles to make it through basic training. However basic training is only the beginning, she is soon to find that nothing can prepare you for what lies beyond the walls.


**Soooo I don't know if I should venture at writing a new fiction but I already have 20K+ written on this so why not : )**  
**Still new to AOT universe, but I really love it. Thus I could really use a Beta. **  
**Constructive criticism is welcome, flames will receive an eye roll : )**

The warm sun beat down from above causing another bead of sweat to trickle down Marie laufey's face. The young woman wiped at her brow quickly, fidgeting nervously as she did so. Her uniform felt tight and alien compared to the dresses and skirts she was used to.

"You!" Marie froze, eyes widening as she stared up at the senior officer who glared down upon her. Her slight 5'1 frame felt even smaller as he glared down upon her. His face was stern and weathered, eyes heavily rimmed with shadows. "What's your name!" He demanded small flecks of spit flying from his mouth.

"uhm, Marie laufey Sir," she stammered, Instructor Shadis's bent down and she recoiled as he shoved his face in front of hers.

"What was that! Louder!" He screamed and she clenched her fist and took a deep breath.

"Marie laufey Sir!" She shouted, hoping he was content, but she was proven wrong.

"Well Marie laufey, why have you decided to join my ranks?" She hesitated, chest constricting as the familiar feel of tears sprung to her eyes. She shook under the instructors gaze as she tried to sort through her muddled thoughts. Why was she here? Red painted across her vision and screams filled her ears. Tremors rocked her body, and she bit down hard on her lip bringing her back to the present.

"Today, doll face!" He shouted and a single tear escaped and slid down her cheek.

"I… I don't want to be a coward anymore, sir!" She cried, trembling where she stood. The ranks fell silent and Shadis took a step back with the raised brow.

"Don't want to be a coward anymore?" He barked a laugh and Marie felt her resolve crumble. "I'm surprised you haven't wet yourself yet, you're the most pathetic, pampered priss I've ever seen. You should go home now, run back to mommy and daddy!" He scolded and more tears slipped out of Marie's eyes and down her face. The ex-commander moved on, finding his next victim and berating them harshly. All Marie could do a sniffle where she stood. What was she thinking joining the military? She was afraid of sleeping without a candle for christs sake! More tears spilled down her cheeks and she clenched her teeth. 'You should go home now, run back to mommy and daddy'his words echoed through her head bringing more tears the surface. She wanted to go home, more than anything she wanted to return to the small cottage that belonged to her parents. Where she spent her days by her mother's side cooking and stitching. Where her father would tease her about her soon-to-be husband and what their kids would be like.

A light blue handkerchief was suddenly thrust before her and she startled. She followed the offered token to finding a young man smiling at her. He shook the handkercheif "hurry up, before commander crank pot over there see's" she turned to find that said man was now several victims away and took the handkerchief, wiping away her tears and blowing her nose. She gave the young man a small smile.

"Thanks," he grinned

"Names Remi, "

"Marie," she responded, going to hand the handkerchief back when he shook his head.

"Nah you keep it-"

"Well well well, what have we here? You two think it's okay to have side conversations do you?" Marie and Remi instantly stiffened as Shadis stalked back over to the two.

"No sir, sorry sir, won't happen again sir!" Remi barked. Marie stared at the ground, a flush of embarrassment coloring her cheeks.

"hmmm, see that it won't. In the meantime start running! Run until you puke, and then keep running! If you even stop for one second then I swear I'll hang you outside the wall's and use you as Titan bait, got it?"

Remi snapped into a salute, Marie mimicking the gesture before turning to follow after the boy who had already taken off. Fresh tears sprang to her eyes, she hadn't even made it through roll call, and she found herself the subject of the instructors anger.

"Hey no more waterworks," Remi scolded softly, falling into step beside her. "You've got too cute a face for that," he teased and she offered him a tightlipped smile.

"I'm sorry, I got you in trouble." She felt terrible, he was just trying to be nice and now he was running laps because of her. He shrugged,

"Don't worry about it, better than listening to that oaf yell and scream for the next hour." He gave her another award-winning smile, but Marie couldn't find it in herself to return it. The last two weeks guilt had nearly eaten her alive, and now even more was being added to the pile that aready weighed her down. It seemed that no one was safe when within close proximity of her.

The two ran, and shortly after Marie began to develop a stitch in her side, but she didnt dare stop. Her feet dragged and a few times she stumbeled, once even completly loosing her balance and falling face first into the ground.

Her throat was parched and her stomach cried out for food, but still they ran. The sun began to set, painting the training grounds in brilliant hues of red and orange, not that she could stop to admire it. The beauty was lost as her eyes glazed over, going onto auto pilot.

Remi would fared better than here, making it a good hour before slowing down. Occasionally he would attempt to start a conversation, but after a few one worded answers from Marie he would let the attempt die.

Night crept in, the heat of the day dissapearing giving the duo a slight reprieve as they had both shed their jackets some time ago. The rest of the group was just leaving the mess hall when an older recruit in their final year called them over, giving the ok that they stop running.

Marie collapsed as soon as the words were out of the man's mouth. He gave here a short look before turning and walking away leaving her on the ground, panting heavily.

Remi doubled over, legs quivering and the two just sat for a moment, before he offered her a hand, pulling her to her feet.

Luckily they were able to slide into the mess hall and snag a loaf of bread each before it closed down.

That night Marie laid awake and cried well after her cabin mates had fallen asleep.


End file.
